A Copywriter Writes

“What? I Got It Because It Tastes Good.”

The other week I stepped into a store rather thirstily to grab a drink. I noticed once of the most idiotic energy drinks I’ve ever seen before.

It’s called Miss Svenson’s Classroom Detention.

Really?

OK, first, how do you arrive at a product name that obviously draws inspiration from the R18 section of any video rental store?

“From the people that brought you Teacher Tug-jobs and Library Late Nights…”

And what’s up with the picture? Are the erect nipples even necessary?

We’re all familiar with the marketing term, ‘sex sells’ but come on! How much more blatant can you be?

On the back of the can you can simply find a monologue from Miss Svenson herself (that you’re encouraged to say out loud in her supposed voice).

Again, the copy sounds like it would be more at home printed on the back of a DVD that  lies at the bottom of the sock drawer.

Women’s organisations all over New Zealand are calling for this product to be discontinued, which is fair enough. It’s not like you have to be 18 to buy this. Any oversexed, prepubescent little ginger kid and his mate can shuffle in and buy this drink without question. And I guess that’s a little socially irresponsible.

But the thing I find gets me irritated the most is that there is absolutely no connection with the product’s packaging design and the product itself! Not even a blurb or a visual metaphor at least that links this considerably cleavaged cartoon with energy. It’s just the sexy route for the sake of tit.

The only thing that pops into mind is the sudden spur of motivation a man can achieve when he sprouts wood.

Probably good they didn’t do that.

To top it off, there’s nothing sexy or Swedish about the taste, either. It’s guarana, taurine and caffine, just like all the others.

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helloyoucreatives:

Breasts are born to grow together. Part of the Pink Ribbon series.

I never know what to think when I see a breast cancer ad with a topless woman as the visual.

Sure, it’s the subject matter and it’s one of the only times a topless woman is appropriate, but I can’t help but think that it’s an ‘easy’ way to get attention because it’s essentially a topless woman.

Also, I realise that my point of view is very male. I saw this ad, I thought ‘nice tits’.

Having said this, females (or just more mature people in general) may see this and see the beauty of two breasts, symmetrical, paired, together and healthy.

Putting the copy over the visual ensures that the copy gets read. Good move. Otherwise the ad begins to liken itself to most centrefolds in men’s magazines.

As for the copy itself, I love it. The treatment is very readable (it could be the illustrative typography that I love, but it works). The idea that breasts deserve to grow old together is nice and struck a small chord in me.

Maybe others will see it and will buy Pink Ribbon Magazine to support this very idea.

Or maybe, guys will buy the magazine secretly hoping it’s full of more topless women.

Either way, magazines get sold and money goes toward breast cancer, I guess.